In August 2017, Tony Alarcon’s phone rang unexpectedly.
Like many parents, he thought it might be a telemarketer. But this time, he answered the call.
Hearing from the school can be nerve-wracking for any parent. Tony immediately started worrying—was his daughter, Demetra, okay? Had something happened?
What he found out left him surprised.
It was a hot summer day in Northern California, with temperatures reaching 90 degrees. Tony had dropped off his 13-year-old daughter, Demetra, at school that morning. She wore a blue romper to stay cool in the heat, and neither of them thought the outfit would cause any issues.
Demetra, a student at Raymond J. Fisher Middle School in Los Gatos, California, had simply dressed for the weather.
Not everyone agreed with Demetra’s outfit. A teacher at her school said her romper was “too distracting” for the boys.
When the teacher told Demetra that her outfit was too short, her dad, Tony, rushed back to the school with a change of clothes—jean shorts and a tank top. But the school said those clothes were also inappropriate.
Tony was shocked. He asked Demetra to bend over and touch her toes in front of the school administrator. “Nothing is hanging out. There’s nothing inappropriate. I don’t understand this dress code rule,” he told TODAY.
Still, the school said her clothes were “distracting.” Since it was 90 degrees outside, Tony had no choice but to go to his car and grab a pair of leggings for Demetra to wear.
Demetra felt embarrassed.
Tony expressed his frustration, saying, “She’s just a kid. She’s only 13. She’s not trying to be a sex symbol. She just wants to be comfortable and attend class, but we’re not giving her that chance.”
This wasn’t the first time Demetra had been in trouble for her clothes. Just a week before, she was called out for a visible bra strap. “When I got dress coded last week, they said my bra strap was showing,” Demetra told the *San Jose Mercury News*. “Like, I’m wearing a bra—what’s the big deal?”
Tony, a successful investment advisor and father of two, didn’t let it go. Angry at what he saw as an unfair rule that mostly targeted girls, he took his complaint to social media. Parents from all over the country showed their support, agreeing that the school’s dress code was outdated and unfair to girls.
“Demetra’s not the only one. If you sit in the school parking lot, you’ll see that,” Tony said. “Lots of girls just want to be comfortable, but they feel forced to wear leggings even when it’s 100 degrees outside.”
Tony believed that parents, not schools, should decide if their children’s clothes are appropriate. He was also worried about how being told their clothing is a “distraction” to boys could affect young girls emotionally in the long run.
The story quickly got attention from the media, with major news outlets reporting on Tony’s efforts to change the dress code. While the school didn’t speak on camera, they did release a statement:
“The Los Gatos Union School District believes that appropriate dress and grooming contribute to a productive learning environment,” the district said. “Students are expected to wear clothes that reflect the core values of our learning community.”
Tony’s efforts made an impact. His push for change led the Los Gatos Union School District to reevaluate its dress code to make it fairer and less strict for all students.
Lisa Fraser, the school’s principal, explained that the dress code rules, called “Fashion Faux Pas,” apply to both girls and boys. Some of the rules include no hats or hoods indoors, no visible underwear, no inappropriate logos or words, and shorts must have at least 4-inch inseams.
“There has always been a dress code,” Fraser told a newspaper. “These are basic rules for appropriate behavior. I can set guidelines for the school, but I want them to reflect the community’s values.”
In the end, Tony Alarcon’s persistence started an important discussion about how school dress codes affect young girls — showing that one parent’s voice can truly make a difference.
What do you think about the school’s dress code? Have you or your children faced a similar situation? Share your thoughts and experiences in the comments!
Veteran actress Kathy Bates diagnosed with a serious chronic health condition
Actress Kathy Bates been a mainstay in TV and movies for a long time. Having played big roles, she is just as scary in real life as she is on television.
The actress was diagnosed with a chronic illness, which required her to make some rather major changes.
In 1970, Kathy Bates relocated to New York in order to further her acting career. She recalls how, even though she was never very smart, she managed to make things work. “I was never an ingenue,” she asserts. “My entire career, I’ve solely played supporting roles. I was always thought to be too ugly, which was a big problem for me when I was younger. According to Bates, it was difficult because there wasn’t much work and you had to accept how other people perceived you.
Her broadway career truly took off when she played Stella May in Come Back To The Five And Dime Jimmy Dean, Jimmy Dean in 1980. The actress was not given the opportunity to have a few roles that she portrayed converted for the big screen. She did, however, become well-known almost immediately after turning 42 thanks to her Academy Award–winning performance as a crazy fan in Misery.
Regarding the kinds of roles she was given, she stated, “You’re either young and glamorous and you’re going to get the lead, or it’s the opposite: you’re not attractive enough.” Therefore, you’re playing a buddy, a killer, a lesbian, a physician, or anything else,” she said. But the individual who gets to play the gorgeous, successful, and young role is not in a position of authority. On the other hand, a character might be strong without being a woman.
After starting to direct episodes, she went on to do so for TV series including Homicide: Life on the Street, NYPD Blue, Oz, and the hugely successful Six Feet Under.
The actress has experienced some personal health-related difficulties. She was diagnosed with cancer twice in her lifetime, in 2003 and 2012. She was diagnosed with breast cancer in 2012 after being diagnosed with ovarian cancer in 2003.
Following her breast cancer surgery, actress Kathy Bates started discussing her diagnosis of lymphedema. She is the spokesperson for the Lymphatic Education & Research Network.
She disclosed that she had lost eighty pounds over the course of the preceding few years. The actress had to wear compression sleeves to keep her arms from swelling. Her disease tends to flare up without them, so she makes sure to wear them whether she is flying or doing physically hard job.
“I have more confidence in my ability to live with LE if I can stop rushing, relax my shoulders, straighten my spine, breathe deeply, and focus on each little moment of completing a task,” the actress said. To control the illness, she has to continually remind herself to take it slow. It was the epidemic that forced me to slow down.
She advises everyone who is ill to continue living their life in spite of it. “When people aren’t aware about LE, going out in public while wearing a compression garment can occasionally be more painful than the illness itself,” the actress said. However, a sedentary lifestyle and prolonged confinement to your home can only make your physical and mental health issues worse.
She stressed the significance of allowing your condition not define who you are, something she actively works to do.
She is making sure to advocate for more money to support organizations that work to raise public awareness of lymphedema and for more research to be done on the condition.
Despite her diagnosis, actress Kathy Bates keeps working on projects she loves since it is her passion!
The actor is a master at living her illness-related life to the fullest, not merely surviving it.
Inform others about this post to motivate them to fight lymphedema.
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