Phil Donahue and Marlo Thomas wrote a book about marriage. It’s called “What Makes a Marriage Last: 40 Celebrated Couples Share with Us the Secrets.” In the book, they talk about their own marriage and share secrets from other couples.
Even though Marlo has been married to Phil for more than 40 years, she admits that when she was younger, she didn’t really want to get married.
In the book, Marlo Thomas talks about how she used to think marriage was like a vacuum cleaner that sucks out all your energy and ambition. She felt like living with a jailer you had to please.
But everything changed when she met Phil Donahue. They found each other after Phil’s first marriage ended, and now they have a strong bond that has lasted their whole lives.
Phil Donahue became famous with his TV show, “The Phil Donahue Show,” which later became just “Donahue.” It ran for 29 years and was the first show to let the audience join in. Marlo Thomas was a guest on his show, and meeting her changed Phil’s life.
The couple first met in Chicago in 1977. Phil Donahue already had four boys with him, and his fifth child, a daughter, lived with his ex-wife and her mother in another place.
Marlo and Phil dated for three years before getting married in 1980 in a small ceremony with 35 people.
Marlo’s friends and family were surprised by her decision to get married, given her past views on marriage. The book tells a funny story about friends at Marlo’s bridal shower putting up quotes from her that showed her previous thoughts about marriage.
According to the book, Marlo’s mom was really surprised at their wedding and kept asking Phil, “How did you get her to do this?” Even strangers, like a woman on their honeymoon plane to Greece, were shocked and disappointed that Marlo, who was known for being independent, decided to settle down.
In the book, Marlo admits that this made her doubt her choice. She wondered if she was being hypocritical since she had criticized marriage for so long. She worried that she let down fans who saw her as a symbol of independence.
Despite the challenges, Phil and Marlo make their marriage work. They talk about the ups and downs in the book, saying that those tough times helped strengthen their bond.
In the early days of their marriage, they spent time apart because Phil was taping his show in Chicago, and Marlo was traveling for her acting career. Even though they weren’t always living together, Marlo’s aunt helped her see that marriage can mean different things to different people.
Despite the distance, Marlo and Phil made their marriage successful. And one important thing to note is that Marlo not only gained a husband but also gained children when she got married.
In a 2012 interview with AARP, Marlo Thomas talked about helping to raise Phil’s children. She knew they already had a traditional mother, so she didn’t try to take on that role. Instead, she became more like a friend to Phil’s children, just like her own mother was to her.
Marlo says that her relationship with Phil’s children is even stronger now than when she first married Phil. In the book, Phil emphasizes that Marlo spent a lot of time talking to and trying to understand his sons.
Phil and Marlo think that the key to their long marriage is the trust they have in each other. Marlo says, “You build trust when you realize that this person always has your back.”
Even though they’ve been married for over 40 years, they believe there are still more memories to create together.
Phil says that for a marriage to last, both people have to really want it. Marlo agrees and says that looking back, she wouldn’t have it any other way than being married to Phil. She points out that he has supported her in every possible way.
Marriage is a wonderful connection, especially when two people fully commit to it. This couple is truly inspiring and sets a great example for all of us. We should all aim for a relationship as successful as theirs!
10 Sweet Stories of People Who Deserve a «Parent of the Year» Award
It’s heartwarming to hear about people who have amazing parents who support them with love and laughter, even as they grow older. Their stories can really touch your heart and make you appreciate your own loved ones even more.
- Mom noticed Dad had red lipstick on his collar, but she didn’t confront him about it. A few days later, I discovered the foundation on his hand, which infuriated me. I confronted my dad, causing a big scene. He confessed that he was taking makeup classes, which only made my mom angrier.
However, my dad proved he wasn’t cheating; he had been practicing makeup on himself. He demonstrated his skills, showing how well he could do it. He explained that with two daughters, one grown and one young, and another on the way, he wanted to be a good dad who could do anything for them.
- At the age of 17, I suddenly realized that I didn’t fit the conventional standards of beauty among my peers. I faced ridicule for being red-haired, petite, and freckled. To hide my insecurities, I started covering my freckles with foundation, dyed my hair dark, and wore ill-fitting clothes. My dad noticed this change and gently probed to understand the reason behind it.
Eventually, I broke down, cried, and poured out my heart to him. In response, he simply said, «So what if you’re petite, with short legs, and red-haired? These are just features! Look at how cute you are! Embrace who you are.» His words struck a chord within me, and I finally began to accept and love myself for who I am.
- I stumbled upon a mysterious note tucked inside Dad’s wallet one day. Intrigued, I decided to investigate further. Days later, while rummaging through Dad’s briefcase, I discovered a hidden compartment containing another note and a small trinket. Confused and curious, I confronted Dad, demanding an explanation for these clandestine discoveries.
To my surprise, Dad confessed that he had been leaving secret love notes and tokens of affection around the house for Mom as a romantic gesture. Initially taken aback, I couldn’t help but feel touched by Dad’s thoughtfulness and creativity. Witnessing this sweet gesture between my parents sparked a newfound appreciation for the depth of their love, showing me the power of small surprises in keeping the spark alive in a relationship.
- Father returned from work, his expression serious as he approached my mom and me. He began, «Do you know who I just saw?!» We waited in anticipation as he continued, «I was walking in the dark, with only one lantern shining, when suddenly, a huge hare jumped out!» Mom and I exchanged surprised glances, only for Dad to pull out a large chocolate bar, saying, «So this bunny asked me to give you a chocolate bar!» Despite being 24 years old, I still fall for this joke about the bunny, as if I were still 6!
- After finishing school, I accompanied my mother to enroll in university. I passed the exams and was accepted, with my mother’s help in securing a dorm room. Late in the evening, my mom left, leaving me with all the money except for enough for her ticket back home. Excited to start this new chapter of independence, I eagerly joined new friends for a night of celebration.
What I didn’t know was that my mother missed the last bus and spent the entire night at the station, with only enough money for a ticket and a simple meal of tea and cookies. It wasn’t until 7 years later that I learned about her sacrifice, and I cried uncontrollably upon realizing her selflessness.
- During a family camping trip, I mentioned how much I’d love to try fishing. Despite not being huge fans of fishing themselves, my parents set up all the gear and patiently showed me how to cast a line. Throughout the day, I struggled to catch anything, but they kept cheering me on with big smiles.
Finally, I caught my first fish—a tiny trout—and their excitement was contagious. It wasn’t until much later that I realized they had given up their fun to make sure I had a chance to try fishing. Their selfless gesture showed me just how much they cared, leaving a lasting impression on my heart.
- A week before my wedding, I discovered that my fiancé was cheating on me. Heartbroken, I turned to my mother for advice. While she sympathized with me, she urged me not to cancel the wedding. She reasoned that since everything was paid for, and I’d feel ashamed in front of relatives, it was best to go through with it for now, and later I could seek revenge and find peace. Reluctantly, I agreed.
However, my wedding day turned out to be the worst day of my life. Just before the ceremony, my dad noticed my distress and pulled me aside for a chat. I broke down and confessed everything to him. Instead of scolding me, he hugged me tightly and said, «Your happiness is what matters most. We’ll handle this together.» With his support, I confronted my cheating fiancé, expressed my true feelings, and walked away with my dignity intact. As we left, my dad proudly said, «That’s my girl!» and added a few words of affection.
- I remember my dad always getting really excited about very cheap, mundane foods like plain puffed rice cereal, bologna sandwiches, and unflavored steel-cut oats. He would get us all amped up about it, and we would want to eat it instead of the more expensive stuff we really wanted because of how much he talked it up. Now that I am older (and as a father myself), I don’t think he actually loved all these things that much. Instead, my parents just didn’t have the money to buy all that expensive food to feed three growing boys. © Rebelsoul3480 / Reddit
- A friend’s 14-year-old daughter boldly requested money for a tattoo—right on her face. While her mom resorted to calming herbal drinks, the father and daughter engaged in a serious discussion about the matter. Eventually, they agreed to visit a tattoo artist over the weekend. «I’ll pay double,» declared the father, «but first, you’ll feel the needle without any ink.»
During the appointment, the father discreetly instructed the artist to make the process as painful as possible. As the heart design began to take shape on her cheek, the daughter howled in agony—it hurt a lot. Despite the pain, they returned home that evening, all satisfied. It seems the father’s approach maintained a positive relationship with his daughter; after all, a stubborn refusal might have only led to more defiance.
- I went to visit my parents, feeling tired and overwhelmed with problems from all sides—work, friends, and personal issues. My mom and dad immediately sensed my mood and set out to cheer me up. They made my favorite comfort foods: cutlets with mashed potatoes and cake with tea.
Then, my father surprised me by borrowing a sled from a neighbor and taking me for a ride. For a couple of hours, all my worries melted away, and I felt like a child again—carefree and joyful. In those precious moments, I realized that no matter how old I am, I will always be my dad’s little daughter in his eyes.
We recommend reading a story of a woman who tried to warn her sister about her new boyfriend, but unfortunately, her sister didn’t take her advice. Now, she’s going through a tough divorce.
Preview photo credit jcomp / Freepik
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