During my childhood and teenage years, I felt the weight of my father’s strict expectations. Instead of being supportive, he focused on control. His voice often echoed in my mind, reminding me of his “random checks” of my room and school bags, which felt more like an interrogation than genuine concern.
His high standards didn’t just apply at home; they spilled into my school life too. He insisted that I must earn at least a B in every subject, always pushing me to do better. This constant pressure built up a lot of anxiety in me and drove me to succeed, but mostly out of fear rather than passion.
As I got older, I became determined to break free from his tight grip, especially when it came to my college education. I decided to fund my own schooling, so my father couldn’t use financial control against me. In contrast, my cousin had a much different experience. His parents, my aunt and uncle, were involved in his life but respected his independence. They supported his education without making him feel pressured. This difference in our upbringings made me acutely aware of the heavy burden I carried.
When I graduated from high school, I made the choice to pay for my college myself. I took on part-time jobs and student loans, accepting the debt rather than risking my father’s influence over me. Interestingly, during this time, my father never offered financial help. He seemed unconcerned about my struggles, yet he painted a different picture to others.
He liked to present himself as the supportive dad who was investing in my future. At social gatherings, he would boast about how much he was contributing to my education, enjoying the praise he received for being a caring father. This false story was something he maintained without a hint of shame.
This charade continued until one summer evening at a family barbecue. During a relaxed conversation, my uncle, unaware of the truth, asked my father how much my education was costing him. Without hesitation, my father responded with pride, claiming it was a significant investment for my future.
Hearing this blatant lie ignited a fire in me. I knew I couldn’t let this continue. While I didn’t confront him then, I began planning how to reveal the truth in a way that left no doubt about my actual journey through college. I waited for graduation day, knowing it would be the perfect time to set the record straight. I invited my family, including my father, making sure they would all be there for what I had planned.
On graduation day, I felt a mix of nerves and determination. As I prepared to speak, I understood the weight of this moment. It represented not just my academic achievement but also a personal declaration. When it was my turn, I approached the podium, heart racing. The audience quieted, and I began: “Today, I want to thank the person who truly made this possible… myself. I financed my college education through hard work, determination, and countless hours of part-time jobs”.
The reaction was immediate. Gasps and murmurs filled the room as images of my college experience appeared on the screen behind me, pictures of late nights studying, work schedules, and tuition checks, all from my own earnings.
“Every dollar I earned and every exam I passed was done without any financial aid from my father”, I continued, glancing at my father’s shocked expression. The atmosphere shifted as my words sank in. The images contrasted sharply with my father’s claims, creating a powerful moment of personal vindication and public clarification.
After the ceremony, family reactions varied. Some were surprised, while others admired my independence. My aunt approached me, looking regretful. “We had no idea you did this all on your own”, she said, her tone apologetic. I wasn’t seeking sympathy but rather acknowledgment of my hard work. This recognition was more fulfilling than any comforting words could offer.
Later, my uncle, clapping me on the back, remarked with respect: “You really showed him. You took control and told the truth”. “Yes, I suppose I did”, I replied, feeling a sense of freedom that went beyond just graduating. “But more importantly, I showed myself what I’m capable of.”
That day marked the end of my college journey and the beginning of a new chapter in my life, free from my father’s oppressive expectations. I had proven to myself and others that I could face significant challenges on my own terms.
My experience in college, funded by my hard work, was a testament to resilience and self-reliance. Standing there with my peers and family, I knew that exciting new adventures awaited me, filled with the promise of freedom and the thrill of self-determination. I walked away not just with a diploma but with a deep understanding of my own strength and capability.
Actor Ali MacGraw sacrificed her own career for Steve McQueen
Ali MacGraw became a Hollywood superstar overnight. But just as quickly as she rose to fame, she disappeared from show business altogether.
Today, the 84-year-old actress has settled down in a remote and tiny town, and she’s aging gracefully with her grey hair.
Ali MacGraw
Ali MacGraw – born Elizabeth Alice MacGraw – was born on April 1, 1939, in Pound Ridge, New York, USA. Her mother, Frances, was an artist and worked at a school in Paris, later settling in Greenwich Village. She married Richard MacGraw, who was also an artist. In 1939, Ali was born.
Ali’s father Richard supposedly had issues from his own childhood which made him a little bit different from others.
He had survived a terrible childhood in an orphanage, running away at the age of 16 to go to sea. He would later study at an art school in Munich, Germany.
“Daddy was frightened and really, really angry. He never forgave his real parents for giving him up,” Ali explained, saying said her father’s adult life was spent “suppressing the rage that covered all his hurt.”
Ali MacGraw – childhood
Money was short for their family, too. Frances and Richard, together with Ali and her brother, Richard Jr, had to move into a house on a Pound Ridge wilderness preserve which they shared with an elderly couple.
“There were no doors; we shared the kitchen and bathroom with them,” Ali said. “It was utter lack of privacy. It was horrible.”
Mom Francis worked with several commercial-art assignments and supported the family. At the same time, Richard had a hard time selling his paintings, and as a result became very frustrated. Ali’s brother Richard became a victim for his anger at home.
“On good days he was great, but on bad days he was horrendous,” she recalled. “Daddy would beat my brother up, badly. I was witness to it, and it was terrible.”
Ali was the daughter of artists, and she knew that she, too, wanted to go into a creative line of work as she got older. She earned a scholarship at the prep school Rosemary Hall, and in 1956, she moved to study at Wellesley College in Massachusetts.
By the age of 22, Ali MacGraw moved to New York and got her first job as an assistant editor at Harper’s Bazaar, working with photographers as an assistant.
Fashion work in New York
Fashion editor Diana Vreeland hired Ali as, what she recalls as, a “flunkie”. Ever seen the film The Devil Wears Prada? Well, it was pretty much that.
“It was ‘Girl! Get me a pencil!’,” MacGraw recalled.
The future Hollywood celebrity worked her job as an assistant for several months. Then, about six months in, fashion photographer Melvin Sokolsky noticed her beautiful looks, and Ali MacGraw was hired as a stylist,and given a better salary. She’d end up staying in that position for six years.
“I don’t know where she got this work ethic, but Ali would come in at eight a.m., and many times I’d come back at one in the morning and she would still be doing things for the next day,” Ruth Ansel, a former art director of Vanity Fair and Harper’s Bazaar recalls.
Ali was great as a stylist. But soon, she was asked to work in front of the cameras as a model. It didn’t take long before she was on magazine covers all over the world, even appearing in television commercials. For thing led to another, and Ali tumbled headfirst into the profession of acting.
She had been sketched nude by Salvador Dali a couple of years earlier. But when the surrealist artist started sucking her toes, MacGraw decided that she’d rather be an actress than a model.
Ali MacGraw – films
Ali went straight from an unknown stylist and into the world of cinema, and boy, did she do it with a bang.
She was untutored in the art of film, which gave her acting another dimension. Her natural beauty was stunning, and the audience loved her.
Following a small role in A Lovely Way to Die (1968), she was asked to star in the 1969 film Goodbye, Columbus. It turned out to be a great call, with MacGraw receiving a Golden Globe for Most Promising Newcomer – Female. The following year, she got her big international breakthrough with a role that would pretty much sum up her career.
Ali MacGraw had received a script from her agent. She’d read it and wept twice because of how much she loved it. She decided she really wanted a part in it, and got herself a meeting with the film’s producer Robert Evans – who at the time was Paramount Picture’s head of production – at the Beverly Hills Hotel’s Polo Lounge. Not only did Evans think she was perfect for the part in the movie Love Story, he absolutely fell in love with her.
MacGraw – playing the role of Jenny – acted alongside Ryan O’Neal in the movie Love Story. The American romantic drama film, in which Ali played a working-class college student, became a smash hit.
Love Story hit the cinemas in 1970, and wow did the audience cherish it. It became the No. 1 film in the United States, and at the time, it was the sixth highest grossing movie in history in the US and Canada.
Award-winning actress
MacGraw earned an Academy Award nomination for her role, and the film itself earned her another win and five Academy Award Nominations. She also won herself a second Golden Globe as Best Actress in a Motion Picture – Drama.
Film producer Robert Evans not only loved her on screen, he had fallen in love with her in real life, and that love was reciprocated. In 1969, the couple tied the knot, and two years later, they welcomed their son, Josh Evans.
Ali MacGraw was the hot new star of the 1970s, but her private life and marriage with Evans would soon come to an end. Steve McQueen had visited their home to ask her to star alongside him in The Getaway, and the two Hollywood stars clicked right away.
“I looked in those blue eyes, and my knees started knocking,” MacGraw recalled. “I became obsessed.”
MacGraw and McQueen had an affair, and she soon left Evans to live with the actor in Malibu, along with her son Josh.
“Steve was this very original, principled guy who didn’t seem to be part of the system, and I loved that,” she said.
Ali MacGraw – Steve McQueen
But after a while, Ali realized that Steve McQueen had his own problems. Following his father abandoning his mother, a then-14-year-old Steve was sent to a school for delinquent children. MacGraw said he never trusted women after that.
(Photo by Silver Screen Collection/Getty Images)
He didn’t like that she worked and had her own career. For a while, Ali stayed home to raise their sons. But her husband’s demands were something Ali simply couldn’t accept in the long run.
Not only that, but he’d explode if she even looked at another man. He also wanted her to sign a prenuptial agreement, promising not to ask for anything if they’d divorce. She abided by the agreement when they did divorce in 1978.
“I couldn’t even go to art class because Steve expected his ‘old lady’ to be there every night with dinner on the table,” she recalled.
“Steve’s idea of hot was not me. He liked blond bimbos, and they were always around.”
This was the start of a pretty dark time in MacGraw’s life. She arrived on set to shoot the 1978 film Convoy both drunk and high, which prompted her to quit drugs.
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