My neighbor reported me to the HOA over some plastic skeletons and cobwebs I put up for Halloween. Less than a day later, she was at my door, begging for help. Why the sudden change of heart? Well, you’ll soon find out!
At 73, I’ve seen my fair share of life’s little dramas. But let me tell you, nothing quite prepared me for the Halloween hullabaloo in our sleepy little neighborhood last year.
I’m Wendy, a retired schoolteacher, proud grandma, and apparently, public enemy number one, according to my neighbor, Irene. All because of a few plastic tombstones and some cotton cobwebs.
“Wendy! Wendy!” I heard Irene’s shrill voice cutting through the crisp October air. I was on my knees, arranging a plastic skeleton by my front porch. “What in heaven’s name are you doing?”
I looked up, shielding my eyes from the afternoon sun. There she was, all five-foot-two, hands on hips, looking like she’d just bitten into a lemon.
“Why? I’m decorating for Halloween, Irene. Same as I’ve done for the past 30 years.”
“But it’s so…” She waved her hands around, searching for the right word. “GARISH!”
I couldn’t help but chuckle. “It’s Halloween, Irene. It’s supposed to be a little garish.”
“Well, I don’t like it. It’s bringing down the tone of the neighborhood.”
As she stomped away, I sighed. Welcome to Whisperwood Lane, where the grass is always greener on the other side of the fence unless it’s half an inch too long, of course.
“You know, Irene,” I called after her, “a little fun never hurt anyone. Maybe you should try it sometime!”
She turned, her face seething with shock and anger. “I’ll have you know, Wendy, that I know plenty about fun. I just prefer it to be tasteful.”
With that, she marched off, leaving me to wonder what her idea of “tasteful fun” might be. Competitive flower arranging, perhaps?
A week later, I was enjoying my morning coffee when I gazed at the mailbox. Among the usual bills and flyers was an official-looking envelope from the Homeowners Association.
My hands slightly shook as I opened it. “Dear Miss Wendy,” it read, “We regret to inform you that a complaint has been filed regarding your Halloween decorations…”
I didn’t need to read further. I knew exactly who was behind this.
I looked at the HOA letter again. Irene had no idea what real problems looked like.
I picked up the phone and dialed the HOA office. “Hello, this is Wendy. I’ve just received a letter about my Halloween decorations, and I’d like to discuss it.”
The receptionist’s voice was polite. “I’m sorry, Miss Wendy, but the board has already made its decision. The decorations must come down within 48 hours because your neighbor has a problem with it.”
“And if I refuse?”
“Then I’m afraid we’ll have to issue a fine.”
I thanked her and hung up, my mind boiling. I had bigger things to worry about than fake tombstones and plastic skeletons. But something in me just couldn’t let Irene win this one.
The next few hours were a blur of phone calls and preparations. I was so focused on my Halloween decorations that I barely noticed Irene’s smug looks every time she passed by my house.
It wasn’t until the next morning that things came to a head. I was sitting on my porch, trying to calm my nerves with a cup of chamomile tea, when I heard excited laughter coming from Irene’s yard.
To my surprise, I saw a young boy, probably 10 years old, running around with one of my carved pumpkins on his head. It took me a moment to recognize him as Irene’s grandson, Willie.
“Look, Grandma!” he shouted, his voice muffled by the pumpkin. “I’m the Headless Horseman!”
I couldn’t help but smile. At least someone was enjoying my decorations.
Then I heard Irene’s voice, sharp and angry. “William! You take that thing off right this instant!”
Willie stopped in his tracks. “But Grandma, it’s fun! Miss Wendy’s yard is the coolest on the whole street!”
I leaned forward, curious to see how this would play out. Irene’s face was turning an interesting shade of red.
“That’s… that’s not the point,” she sputtered. “We don’t need any of those tacky decorations. Now, give me that pumpkin!”
But Willie wasn’t giving up so easily. “Why can’t we have fun stuff like Miss Wendy? Our yard is so boring and ugly!”
I almost felt bad for Irene. Almost.
“William,” Irene’s voice softened slightly, “you don’t understand. These decorations aren’t appropriate for our neighborhood. We have standards to maintain.”
The boy’s shoulders slumped. “Standards are no fun, Grandma. I wish we could be more like Miss Wendy.”
As the boy trudged back to the house, pumpkin in hand, I couldn’t help but call out, “You’re welcome to come carve pumpkins with me anytime, Willie!”
Irene shot me a glare that could have curdled milk, but I just waved cheerily. Let her stew in her bitterness. I had a Halloween to prepare for and a family to celebrate with.
As the sun started to set, I was surprised to see Irene making her way up my driveway. She looked different. Smaller somehow, less sure of herself.
“Wendy?” she called out hesitantly. “Can we talk?”
I nodded, gesturing to the chair next to me. “Have a seat, Irene. Tea?”
She sat down heavily, wringing her hands. “I wanted to apologize. About the HOA complaint. I shouldn’t have done that.”
I raised an eyebrow but said nothing, waiting for her to continue.
“It’s just…” She took a deep breath. “My grandson loves coming here because of your decorations. He says it’s the highlight of his visits. And I realized I’ve been so focused on keeping up appearances that I forgot what it’s like to just have fun.”
I felt a pang of sympathy. “We all get caught up in the wrong things sometimes, Irene.”
She nodded, tears glistening in her eyes. “The thing is, Willie’s parents are going through a nasty divorce. These visits are the only bright spots in his life right now. And I almost ruined that with my silly rules and complaints.”
At 69, Kevin Costner gets re-do to “look younger” after shock divorce, claims insider
Following a divorce, it’s common for one or both parties to make changes. Perhaps some new clothes? A brand-new vehicle? Perhaps a new hairstyle, a new career, or a new social circle to go out and drink with?
My argument is that, after going through something as life-altering and, typically, traumatizing as a formal separation from someone you thought you would be in love with forever, it’s only normal to make changes to your daily life.
It appears that even celebrities can undergo post-divorce makeovers. As it happens, if Radar Online is to be believed, Kevin Costner is currently in the middle of one.
The short version of Costner’s love life and how it unfolded in 2023—which our coverage of it has been extensive—is that the Dances With Wolves star and Christine Baumgartner parted ways last year after 19 years of marriage.
According to all reports, Costner was taken aback by his ex-wife’s decision, while Christine was the one who started the divorce process. After an inevitable court struggle, Baumgartner received an order for Costner to pay $63,209 in child support each month.
Although it might seem like a lot, it is far less than the $161,592 that Christine was reportedly looking for.
A few months later, the 69-year-old Costner was the focus of several rumors that connected him to different women. I suppose this is to be anticipated, given the day his divorce was finalized, he became become one of Hollywood’s most eligible bachelors.
In recent months, there has been a lot of conjecture that he is now dating singer Jewel; the two are said to have taken a plane trip together for vacation. In an April interview, Jewel herself mentioned Kevin, slyly describing the actor as “a great person.”
Regarding the speculations that connected the two of them, she said in the same interview, “The public fascination is intense for sure.”
CANNES, FRANCE – MAY 19: On May 19, 2024, in Cannes, France, Kevin Costner is seen on the “Horizon: An American Saga” Red Carpet at the 77th annual Cannes Film Festival at the Palais des Festivals. (Image by FilmMagic/JB Lacroix)
The world won’t likely find out if Costner has found new love until an official announcement is released, but Radar Online claims that the leading man in Yellowstone has changed since splitting from Christine.
“He fusses over his hair nonstop and is now getting weaves,” a source reportedly told news outlet The Globe. “He is dabbling in other beauty treatments like Botox and spray tans to look younger.”
“He used to be a wash-and-go guy, but now he spends hours getting ready and gets really obsessed with his hair,” the insider said. With the bleached fuzz on top of his head, his buddies make fun of him for appearing like a scarecrow, but he doesn’t mind because he thinks it looks wonderful.
Indeed, when Costner was photographed at the Cannes Film Festival this month to introduce the first movie in his new four-part Western serial Horizon: An American serial, he flashed bleached blond hair and a noticeably longer hairline.
How do you think Costner looks now? Please tell us in the comments section.
Leave a Reply