Now don’t get me wrong, she wasn’t annoying me because I was a mean mother-in-law (MIL) who hated her. But because of her selfish question. It seemed I was expected to always be around. “I am going on a vacation to the Bahamas. I already bought the tickets and booked myself at a lovely hotel.”
My son and DIL exchanged surprised looks before staring at me as if I’d grown a second head. “This is so unlike you, mom. Who are you going with?” I rolled my eyes at George’s response. He’d somehow forgotten that before he had kids, I was jetsetting every few months!
“That’s not true my love. I used to travel all the time when my time was mine,” I replied a bit irritated. I couldn’t believe how clueless he’d become when it came to my life. “Well, where are we going to get someone to babysit the kids for free every day?”
I realized at that moment that I’d spoiled these two. “Your parents are a start, Sarah. Arrange play dates with your friends’ children or something, I don’t know,” I said in frustration. Why was I the one who had to figure out what THEY did with their own children?
It dawned on me how much I had made them dependent on me. It wasn’t my intention, I think I took the Gam-Gam role a bit too far, and I so loved my little munchkins! They gave me so much to live for. But I was tired and needed a break.
Without waiting for their response, which I anticipated would make me angry, I turned to leave. “I will send you the details of when I leave, where I’ll be staying, and when I’ll return. Toodles!” I heard them falling over themselves as they tried to catch up to my quick stride.
They were LITERALLY trying to get ME to tell THEM what to do with their children! But I was having none of it and quickly closed the door before rushing to my car and driving away. Yes, I felt like I was escaping and running away from my responsibilities and I HATED that feeling!
When I arrived home, my DIL had left several voice messages that I had no intention of listening to. My therapist was the one who made me realize I was overworked and needed some time off. I was oblivious to that as I continued stretching myself to my limits.
She, my therapist, knocked it into my head that I was overcompensating by trying to be the best MIL and grandmother while losing myself. I stuck to my promise and sent George and Sarah all the details of my travels as a courtesy.
The next few weeks were filled with Sarah trying to convince me to leave with the kids. When she wasn’t trying to do that, she tried to get me to stay and not leave. “I need to do this for ME, Sarah. You won’t understand,” I explained, trying to get her off my back.
If my DIL wasn’t the one pestering me, my son got in on it. But with the words of my therapist playing in my head, “Stick to your guns. You are doing this for YOUR well-being,” I remained resolute in my decision.
When the fateful day came, I announced my departure to my son and left. For two glorious days on vacation, I had nothing but massages, long beach walks, drank piña coladas, and enjoyed the sunsets!
On the third day, my mood was spoiled when I suddenly received a disturbing message from my DIL. “George is on his business trip, my parents have house repairs, and I’m going on MY retreat,” her text began.
“And you know what? It’s in the Bahamas!! Isn’t it amazing? We’re already boarding, I need you to watch the kiddos!” Annoyed is an understatement for what I was feeling! I couldn’t understand, so HER parents have repairs, and I have a vacation, so I can babysit the kids?!
I was MAD AS HELL! I was practically seething! This time I leaned on my own faculties and decided to teach her a lesson on mutual respect. When they pitched, I was my usual affectionate self to my grandbabies and hugged and kissed them.
I then spent an hour bonding with the pair while Sarah mumbled about how SHE had to MEDITATE tomorrow. But the next day, I got an irritated call from her. “WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON? WHERE ARE YOU?!” she had the nerve to demand.
All calm and relaxed as I had anticipated that type of response, I answered, “I’m at the spa, getting a massage. Why do you ask?” Sounding more frustrated, my DIL replied, “Why would you not answer your phone?!”
“The kids have been driving ME crazy, and I need a break!” I had finally had enough of her nonsense and took a deep breath before responding. “I hear you talking about what YOU need and want, but have you asked ME what my plans are?”
“Has it even occurred to YOU to find out if I WANT to babysit during MY vacation and time away?” I heard her gasp as she tried cutting in all respectful this time, saying, “Mrs. Thomas, I…” But I cut her off and continued my rant.
“Do you know what I am doing here, huh? Do you even CARE?” My voice went up a notch. “You receive what you deserve, Sarah. And maybe it’s time for YOU and George to learn a lesson about respect!”
My DIL was stunned into silence. She realized for the first time in two years the depth of her imposition. Her voice had softened as she stammered, “I… I didn’t think… I just assumed…”
I wasn’t done with her as I replied, “That’s exactly the problem we have, you assumed and KEEP assuming. I love my grandkids, but I also NEED my own time.”
“This was MY vacation. It’s time I took off so I can recuperate and have some self-care.” I could hear from the silence on the other side that Sarah was feeling guilty. She was FINALLY understanding where I was coming from.
“I’ve given you and Georgie two long years of my love and dedication.” I shared how I’d stretched myself because I wanted to be a good MIL and grandmother. I also wanted to be there for them as they transitioned into parenthood.
But then I went too far as they kept demanding more and more of my time. I confessed to my DIL that I started feeling burnt out. Yet, because I hadn’t felt the feeling before, I didn’t realize what was happening to me.
A friend I confided in suggested I see her therapist. That’s when it finally clicked that I was wearing myself thin. I was quite upset as I ended my rant by stating, “Next time, respect MY plans and ask, don’t just assume I’m here to serve your convenience!”
Sarah paused for a long time on the other end of the line and I was about to say something when she finally sighed. It appeared she finally understood the weight of my words and where I was coming from.
“You’re right. I’m sorry. I should have asked. I’ll make other arrangements,” my DIL replied, sounding defeated. I won’t lie, I felt a tinge of regret for how I approached things, but decided it was something that had to be done.
After all, as they say, people treat the way you teach them to. I thanked her for understanding. “Now, I’m going to enjoy the rest of my vacation. I suggest you find a way to enjoy yours too, without relying on me.”
I didn’t wait for a response before hanging up and felt the most serene wave of satisfaction! I had stood up for myself and drew boundaries that taught my DIL a valuable life lesson! I happily returned to my massage, content that I would not be disturbed anymore.
I felt the stress melt away from my body as the masseuse kneaded longstanding knots that had built up over the years. I was pleased to know that I had managed to reclaim my well-deserved break.
Unfortunately, Mrs. Thomas isn’t the only person who’s had to take measures to teach people important lessons. Mark’s mother kept nagging his pregnant wife to the point that the younger woman had to leave. Not wanting his mother to miss her mistake, Mark found a clever way to teach the parent about respect and boundaries.
6 Amazing Benefits of Burning bay Leaves
Bay leaves, a commonly used culinary herb known for its ability to impart flavor to various dishes, have been valued for their aromatic properties since ancient times. However, you may be pleasantly surprised to learn that burning bay leaves can offer a wide range of benefits beyond their use in the kitchen. In this article, we will explore six remarkable advantages of burning bay leaves and how this simple practice can significantly enhance your well-being.
Aromatherapy and Relaxation:
Burning bay leaves releases a delightful and soothing aroma that can create a serene atmosphere in your home or workspace. This fragrance is associated with stress reduction, anxiety relief, and relaxation. Inhaling the scent of burning bay leaves has the potential to uplift your mood and promote a calming environment, making it an excellent addition to your self-care routine.
Improved Respiratory Health:
The smoke produced when burning bay leaves contains beneficial compounds like eucalyptol and linalool, known for their respiratory benefits. Inhaling these compounds can help relieve congestion, open up airways, and provide relief from respiratory conditions such as coughs, colds, and bronchitis. Burning bay leaves can be particularly helpful during the winter months when respiratory issues are common.
Natural Insect Repellent:
Bay leaves possess natural insect-repellent properties, making them valuable for keeping bothersome insects at bay. Burning bay leaves can effectively deter mosquitoes, flies, and other pests due to the presence of essential oils like eugenol and myrcene. Instead of using chemical-laden repellents, consider using bay leaves as an eco-friendly alternative to maintain an insect-free environment.
Enhanced Focus and Mental Clarity:
The aroma produced by burning bay leaves is believed to enhance mental clarity and concentration. This scent can help declutter your mind, improve focus, and boost cognitive function. If you find yourself dealing with mental fatigue or distractions, burning bay leaves can create an environment conducive to increased productivity and mental alertness.
Spiritual and Ritualistic Practices:
Burning bay leaves holds cultural and spiritual significance in various traditions. It is believed to purify the air, dispel negative energy, and promote spiritual well-being. The ritual of burning bay leaves can be incorporated into meditation, ceremonies, or rituals to create a sacred space, encourage introspection, and invite positive energies into your surroundings.
Natural Air Freshener:
Thanks to their delightful fragrance, burning bay leaves can serve as a natural air freshener, effectively eliminating unwelcome odors from your living space. Whether you’re dealing with cooking odors, stale air, or simply want to infuse your environment with an inviting aroma, burning bay leaves can neutralize unpleasant scents and leave behind a refreshing fragrance.
Precautions:
While burning bay leaves offers numerous benefits, it’s essential to exercise caution and follow safety guidelines. Ensure proper ventilation when burning bay leaves and keep a safe distance from flammable materials. Always supervise the burning leaves and never leave them unattended. Individuals with respiratory conditions or sensitivities should seek advice from a healthcare professional before engaging in bay leaf burning.
Burning bay leaves is a straightforward yet impactful ritual that can significantly enhance your overall well-being. From promoting relaxation and mental clarity to providing respiratory relief and acting as a natural insect deterrent, the benefits of burning bay leaves are diverse and plentiful. Incorporate this age-old tradition into your daily routine and experience the remarkable effects of this natural remedy. However, prioritize safety and seek professional advice when necessary. Embrace the aromatic and therapeutic qualities of bay leaves, and unlock a realm of advantages within the comfort of your home.
Leave a Reply