A lot of big, tragic and important things have happened to this wonderful country of ours since April 2014. None of which I have covered. I was too busy writing about hungover parenting, ancient philosophy and my dog Colin.
Out of the 536 columns I have written, 27 were about that guy. Far too few. He is such a good boy, he deserves an article a week.
Today is the end of an era for me, and whenever these final events pop up in our lives, we can’t help but think about the ultimate end.
Everything we do, we will one day do for the last time. That’s why you have to enjoy things while they are around. It’s not just big events like leaving a job, house or loved one either. Whatever moment you happen to be in now, you will never get it back, and you don’t know how many more you have.
Everything we do in life, from eating pizza to spending time with the people we love, to driving, writing, drinking or breathing, we will one day experience for the final time. It might happen tomorrow. This can be either a depressing or an inspiring thought, depending on how you look at it.
A few years back in this column, I interviewed professor of philosophy William B Irvine, of Wright State University, Ohio, on this very topic. He put it this way on a Zoom call: “Recognition of the impermanence of everything in life can invest the things we do with a significance and intensity that would otherwise be absent. The only way we can be truly alive is if we make it our business periodically to entertain thoughts of the end.”
Today’s column is very meaningful to me because it is my last. Like the last night with a lover before she goes overseas. And just like a lover, there have been some half-arsed efforts put in from me over the years. Last week, for example, I spent 750 words moaning about how bad my cricket team is. But the truth is that any of my columns could have been the final. If I had reminded myself every week for the past 10 years that the end is inevitable, I may have been more grateful for having a column and appreciated writing them all as much as I am this one.
While everything we do could have more meaning with a focus on finitude, some things are inherently more worthwhile than others. There is no doubt my column “The pros and cons of wearing Speedos” from November 2022 was less meaningful than most things in this world. That was a waste of everyone’s time. So, if we only have so much time, how do we pick the best things to do?
Well, Oliver Burkeman, the author of Four Thousand Weeks – Time Management For Mortals, suggested this to me in a 2022 column: “Ask yourself, does this choice enlarge me? You usually know on some unspoken level if it does. That’s a good way to distinguish between options.”
With that in mind, I don’t feel great about my 2018 article on “New Zealand’s best hole”. That didn’t enlarge anyone.
There will be people reading this column right now who have loved my writing in the Herald and are sad to see it end. Others will have hated it and are glad to see me go. Many won’t have any opinion at all. But for those in the first camp, I have good news. I have a book coming out on May 28 called A Life Less Punishing – 13 Ways To Love The Life You Got (Allen and Unwin Book Publishers). It’s a deep dive into the history, philosophy and science of not wasting our time lost in anger, loneliness, humiliation, stress, fear, boredom and all the other ways we find to not enjoy perfectly good lives. It’s available for pre-order right now (google it if you’re interested).
A Life Less Punishing took me two years to write and is equivalent in words to 100 of these columns. Which would be a complete nightmare for those in the hate camp, but as I say, great news for those who want more.
Anyway, thanks to the Herald for having me, thanks to the lovely people who make an effort to say nice things to me about my column nearly every day and thanks to the universe for every single second we get.
Bless!
‘I miss her everyday’ Hollywood actor from the 50s honours his late wife on social media
Robert Wagner and Natalie Wood’s relationship was one of Hollywood’s most captivating love stories. Their romance began when Wood, then a rising star, and Wagner, already a well-established actor, met in the early 1950s. Their first encounter was at a studio when Wood was just 18 years old. The spark was instant, and they soon became one of Hollywood’s golden couples.
They married in 1957, but their relationship was fraught with challenges. In 1962, they divorced, citing career pressures and personal differences. However, love brought them back together, and they remarried in 1972. Their second marriage seemed stronger, filled with renewed commitment and love.
They had a daughter, Courtney Wagner, who was born in 1974, and together they formed a blended family with Wood’s daughter, Natasha, from her previous marriage.
The Tragic Night: Natalie Wood’s Mysterious Death
The tragic and mysterious death of Natalie Wood in 1981 remains one of Hollywood’s most perplexing and talked-about cases. On November 29, 1981, Wood, Wagner, and actor Christopher Walken were on Wagner’s yacht, Splendour, near Santa Catalina Island off the coast of California. The events of that night have been subject to much speculation and controversy.
According to initial reports, Wood went missing after having a heated argument with Wagner. Her body was found floating in the water the next morning. The cause of death was initially ruled as accidental drowning, possibly exacerbated by alcohol consumption. However, inconsistencies in the accounts of that night and subsequent revelations have kept the case alive in the public consciousness.
In 2011, the Los Angeles County Sheriff’s Department reopened the investigation, citing new information. The coroner amended Wood’s death certificate in 2012 to change the cause of death from “accidental drowning” to “drowning and other undetermined factors,” noting bruises on her body that suggested she might have been injured before she entered the water.
Wagner, now 94, has consistently denied any involvement in Wood’s death. Despite being named a “person of interest” in 2018, he has not been charged, and the case remains unresolved.
Honoring Her Memory: Robert Wagner’s Recent Instagram Post
Despite the tragic end to their love story, Wagner has never shied away from expressing his enduring love and respect for Natalie Wood. On what would have been their anniversary this year, Wagner posted a heartfelt tribute to Wood on Instagram. The post featured a vintage photograph of the couple in a tender embrace, radiating the love they shared. His caption read:
“Today marks the anniversary of the day I married the love of my life, Natalie. She was a beautiful soul, a phenomenal actress, and a wonderful mother. Her spirit lives on in our hearts and memories. I miss her every day.”
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