If there is one thing we are certain of in life, it’s the fact that people have an opinion. Some will even try to voice that opinion as loud as possible, despite the fact that very few people are listening.
The Internet really makes it easy for anyone to have such an opinion and to voice it for the world to hear. The funny thing is that the stranger the opinion, the more press it seems to receive.
That is what one expert is now experiencing, thanks to their unusual recommendation for parents. They are a self-proclaimed relationship expert, and they said that parents should ask for permission before changing a diaper.
We realize that there are a lot of issues revolving around consent these days, and it can be difficult to navigate them. As far as many parents are concerned, however, asking a baby’s permission before changing a dirty diaper is just out of the question.
To be honest, most parents are not very happy about the fact that they have to change diapers but it is a necessity if you are going to raise your children happy and healthy. Adding the extra layer of having to ask permission before doing so is above and beyond.
The woman who made this claim says that she is a ‘sexuality educator, speaker, and author.’ Her name is Deanne Carson and her unusual recommendation for parents is making waves.
She was on ABC in 2018 to share these insights. She said that this is typically done with children above the age of three but she also feels that consent is important to introduce at a much younger age.
She does admit that babies will not be able to verbally respond to the request for consent, but they should be able to give nonverbal communication with eye contact and in other forms.
She claims that it’s about setting up a culture of consent in the home, and asking if it is okay to change the nappy before doing so.
Carson went further to explain the process, saying that allowing a moment for anticipation and waiting for any nonverbal cues can help parents and toddlers communicate on a deeper level.
Perhaps the most interesting thing was the way the reporters reacted to the suggestion. Not only were they very verbal, but they were also wondering what would happen if the baby said no.
SEVENTY YEARS AGO, SHE WAS KICKED OUT FOR BEING IN LOVE WITH A BLACK MAN. NOW, SEE HOW THEY ARE DOING TODAY.
Jake and Mary Jacobs marked their 70th anniversary of a happy marriage last year, but their journey wasn’t simple.
Mary, who is White, and Jake, who is Black, lived in the same city in 1940s Britain. At that time, there weren’t many Black men there.
Even though Mary’s father told her to leave, Mary chose love over easy choices.
“When I told my father I was going to marry Jake, he said, ‘If you marry that man, you will never set foot in this house again.’”
Mary and Jake first met at a technical college where Mary was learning typing and shorthand, and Jake was undergoing Air Force training. They met during the war when Jake moved from Trinidad to Britain.
Jake impressed Mary with his understanding of Shakespeare, and they got to know each other. One day, they invited Mary and her friend to join them for a picnic. Unfortunately, someone passing by saw them and reported Mary to her father. The woman was shocked to see two English girls talking with black guys. After this incident, Mary wasn’t allowed to visit her father again.
After Jake returned to Trinidad, they kept in touch through letters. A few years later, he came back to the U.K. to find a better-paying job.
Jake surprised Mary by proposing, and she, at 19, said yes. However, when she told her family, they kicked her out.
“I left with only one small suitcase. No family came to our registry office wedding in 1948.”
Mary’s father was upset about her marrying a black man, and Mary didn’t realize that society felt the same way.
The early years of their marriage in Birmingham were tough. Mary cried every day, hardly ate, and they faced many challenges. Nobody would talk to them, they couldn’t find a place to live because nobody would rent to a black man, and they had little money.
Even walking down the street together was hard because people would point at them, Mary explained.
Mary and Jake were excited to become parents, but at eight months, Mary gave birth to a stillborn child. She mentioned it wasn’t due to the stress she was under, but it deeply saddened them, and they didn’t have any more children.
As time passed, their lives improved. Mary became a teacher and eventually an assistant principal, while Jake found a job with the Post Office. They made new friends, but Mary felt the need to explain to people that her husband was black before introducing them.
“My father passed away when I was 30, and even though we reconciled by then, he never approved of Jake,” she shared.
Currently, Jake, 89, and Mary, 84, live in Solihull, a town south of Birmingham. They recently celebrated 70 years of marriage.
Jake said he has no regrets, but he also mentioned that today’s black youth may not fully understand the challenges he faced in 1940s Britain.
“When I arrived in the U.K., I faced abuse every day. Once, on a bus, a man rubbed his hands on my neck and said, ‘I wanted to see if the dirt would come off.’ Back then, working in an office as a black man with white girls wasn’t considered safe,” Jake explained.
Despite all the challenges, bias, and abuse, the pair is still deeply in love and has no regrets about being married. They have been happily married for more than 70 years.
These two are a true inspiration, and I wish them a lifetime of pleasure because of the love they have for one another.
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