Dear Wife,
I’m writing you this letter to tell you that I’m leaving you for good. I’ve been a good man to you in our 7 years of marriage & I have nothing to show for it.
These last 2 weeks have been tough for me. Your boss notified me that you quit your job today & that was just too much to bear any longer.
Last week, you came home & didn’t even notice I had a new haircut, had cooked your favorite meal & even wore a brand new pair of silk boxers.
You ate in 2 minutes, & went straight to sleep after watching all of your soaps. You don’t tell me you love me anymore; you don’t want sex or anything that connects us as husband & wife.
Either you’re cheating on me or you don’t love me anymore; whatever the case, It’s over and I am leaving.
Your EX-Husband
P.S. don’t try to find me. Your SISTER & I are moving away to West Virginia together! Have a great life!
Dear Ex-Husband,
Believe me, nothing has made my day more than receiving your letter. It’s definitely true that you & I have been married for the past 7 years, although a good man is a far cry from what you’ve been.
I watch my TV shows so much because they drown out your constant whining & griping, although that doesn’t seem to work.
I definitely noticed your haircut last week, but the 1st thing that came to mind was ‘You look just like a girl!’ And since my mother raised me not to say anything if you can’t say something nice, I decided not to comment.
And when you cooked my favorite meal, you must have gotten me confused with MY SISTER, because I stopped eating pork 7 long years ago.
About those new silk boxers: I turned away from you because the $49.99 price tag was still on them, & I prayed it was a coincidence that my sister had just borrowed $50 from me that morning.
After all of this, I still loved you & felt we could make this work. So when I hit the lotto for 10 million dollars, I quit my job & bought us 2 tickets to Jamaica. But when I got home you were gone.
Everything happens for a reason, I guess. I hope you have the fulfilling life you always wanted. My lawyer said that the letter you wrote ensures you won’t get a dime from me. So take care.
Signed, Your Ex-Wife, Rich As Hell & Free!
P.S. I don’t know if I ever told you this, but my sister Carla was born Carl. I hope that’s not a problem!
Please share this story with your friends and family if you think it was funny.
Nobody sang “God Bless America” better than Kate Smith
In a stirring display of patriotism, Dean Martin and Kate Smith joined forces on ‘The Dean Martin Show’ to deliver a medley of beloved American classics, accompanied by a choir of singers and dancers clad in vibrant red, white, and blue attire. Alongside Martin and Smith, esteemed stars Barbara Eden, Mickey Rooney, and Norm Crosby graced the stage, each adding their own flair to the performance.
Kicking off with a spirited rendition of “Yankee Doodle Dandy”, Martin and Smith set the stage aglow with their infectious energy, seamlessly transitioning into the timeless melody of ‘My Old Kentucky Home’ as the ensemble joined in harmoniously. The medley reached its crescendo with a rousing rendition of ‘You’re a Grand Old Flag,’ filling the air with patriotic fervor as the stage came alive with singers and dancers.
As the audience cheered in appreciation, Martin stepped forward to evoke the spirit of President Roosevelt’s iconic introduction of Kate Smith three decades prior, paving the way for her poignant rendition of “God Bless America”. Known as “The Songbird of the South”for her stirring performances during World War II, Smith delivered a soul-stirring rendition of Irving Berlin’s masterpiece, her voice soaring to breathtaking heights as the orchestra swelled in accompaniment.
The audience was captivated by the sheer majesty of the performance, a testament to the enduring power of patriotic music to unite and inspire.
“The Dean Martin Show”, a staple of television from 1965 to 1974, showcased the era’s biggest stars in its 264 episodes, with Dean’s signature hit “Everybody Loves Somebody” serving as its timeless theme song. Bringing the evening to a close with this beloved tune, Martin and Smith left an indelible mark on the hearts of viewers, their collaboration standing as a poignant reminder of the beauty and pride of being American.
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