Unique divorce announcement
Dear former partner,
I trust this letter finds you in good health and high spirits. It is with mixed emotions that I communicate my decision not to return to our shared abode. Reflecting on our seven years together, it is evident that change is inevitable, and in this case, it is necessary for both of us.
The recent fortnight has been quite tumultuous, culminating in a decisive moment when your manager called to inform me of your abrupt resignation. Upon your return home a week ago, my attempt to surprise you with your favorite dish and a fresh haircut went unnoticed. Clad in a pair of brand-new silk boxers, I hoped to rekindle the connection we once shared.
Regrettably, you devoured the meal in record time, indulged in your television dramas, and retired to bed without acknowledging the effort I put into the evening. Our communication has dwindled, expressions of love have become scarce, and our intimacy is but a distant memory. Whether this stems from infidelity or a loss of affection, I have chosen to part ways.
Wishing you a fulfilling journey ahead, your former partner.
P.S. Please refrain from attempting to locate me; your sister and I have decided to start anew in West Virginia. May life bring you joy.
To my previous spouse,
Your letter has undeniably added a touch of humor to my day. Despite the seven years of marriage, your perception of yourself as a kind and wonderful man hasn’t always aligned with reality.
Television dramas have been my escape from the constant complaints, although their effectiveness is inconsistent.
I did notice your new haircut last week, though my initial thought was that it had a surprisingly feminine touch!
My preference for TV dramas aside, I had to keep quiet about your attempt at preparing my favorite dinner since I gave up pork seven years ago. As for the silk boxers, the $49.99 price tag raised an eyebrow, especially considering my sister borrowed $50 from me that very morning.
Despite our differences, I held on to the belief that our love could endure. Imagine my surprise when, following my $10 million lottery win, I returned home to find you gone.
Everything happens for a reason, and I genuinely hope you find the fulfilling life you’ve always sought. Please be aware that, as per my attorney, you won’t be receiving any money from me.
Wishing you luck on your journey, your ex-wife, liberated and prosperous.
P.S. In case I haven’t mentioned it before, my sister Carla was born Carl. I trust this revelation won’t pose any issues.
BREAKING : MTG has continually called for officials in her state to launch a probe…
Rep. Marjorie Taylor Greene (R-GA) has continually called for officials in her state to launch a criminaI probe into Fulton County District Attorney Fani Willis as allegations of corruption have surfaced.
Greene has specifically pushed for Georgia Gov. Kemp to investigate Willis, claiming he has the ultimate authority to lead such an initiative.
However, Kemp recently dismissed MTG’s request for a criminaI probe, directing the congresswoman to file a complaint with Georgia’s oversight committee. The American Tribune covered the news, reporting on the comments from a spokesperson of Gov. Kemp.
The Congresswoman has every right to refer her complaint to the oversight commission once the legislative process concludes this session and the commission begins full operations.
Just last year, the Georgia General Assembly Iaid out a specific oversight process for district attorneys that is transparent and unbiased, which the governor supported and signed into law, the spokesperson said.
The spokesperson continued, “These allegations are deeply troubling and evidence should be presented quickly. Georgians must have confidence in our legal system and its procedures, and these allegations — in addition to the Iack of direct response from District Attorney Willis — jeopardize that confidence.”
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